EVERYBODY HURTS SOMETIMES
The lyrics to this R.E.M. 1990’s iconic ballad came to mind this week, as I met a new friend ripe from the shock of losing her job unexpectedly and reconnected with an old friend who had moved so well beyond a similar job loss a decade ago.
Right up there with a bad break up, losing one’s job really hurts, and one can feel an enormous weight of emotions ranging from grief, fear, sadness, worry, and betrayal. I’ve been there, and in an economy where so many institutions are restructuring, cutting back, consolidating, or bringing in new leadership, job security (particularly in senior roles) is never a given. Here’s some hard-earned advice if you or a friend/colleague has recently lost your job.
● Take comfort and take care. You will feel alone, because suddenly you have days and weeks free, and a calendar that no longer resembles what you thought was going to be your schedule when you were employed. “If you feel like you’re alone…no, no, no, you are not alone.” “Take comfort in your friends” and supportive family members. And increase self-care. It’s a great time to try out new practices such as breathwork, meditation, or mindful movement, such as yoga or Pilates. Or return to an old practice: Jump on a bike, or in a pool. You’ll feel better!
● Seize the moment. It’s a great time to take online or in-person classes. Get credentialed in project management, up your digital skills, start learning a new language. There are so many high-quality cost-effective adult educational resources available, and learning or enhancing your skills will boost your confidence. Courses and homework will fill your calendar, engage your mind, and connect you with new people and experiences.
● ”Hold on, hold on, hold on.” And don’t rush to take a position that doesn’t suit you (in terms of salary or role) or isn’t in a desirable geographically. Don’t get discouraged if the many resumes you send out are ignored. Having conducted numerous job searches, hiring entities literally get hundreds of resumes for every job posting. Your best path to a new organization and worthy position is through friends and colleagues in your network. Let them know of your availability and needs (in terms of salary, title, benefits, geography) and where you can be flexible.
● “Everybody hurts sometimes.” If a friend or family member loses their job, be supportive. Offer to meet them for coffee, to introduce them to people in your network, or review their resume. They will remember that you were there for them in a time of unexpected need. And in a job market that’s transforming so quickly, you never know when it’s you who will be the one who finds themselves unemployed.
● One door behind you has closed, but the window to UNLIMITED alternate paths has opened WIDE. Explore them, venture forth, and know you will one day look back at this time from a better, different vantage point than you ever could have imagined. I am.